Henny Youngman - This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

Henny Youngman - Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Henny Youngman - Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take the time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I g

Kavita Ramdas - We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can

Donald Glover - I personally don't believe people really grow. They just learn stuff when they were a kid, and hold on to it, and that affects every relationship they have.

Angelita Lim — “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.”

Benjamin Franklin - It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man.

Christian Nestell Bovee - Music is the fourth great material want, first food, then clothes, then shelter, then music.

Fiona Apple - I got all my work done to graduate in two months and then they were like, I'm sorry, you have to take driver's ed. I just kind of went, Oh, forget it.

George Sand - Work is not man's punishment. It is his reward and his strength and his pleasure.

Erma Bombeck - Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Edward Abbey - When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem

Elie Wiesel - Religion is not man's relationship to God, it is man's relationship to man.

Vernon Law - They couldn't sign me until after I graduated, but right after graduation day, I had nine different organizations there wanting to sign me.

Virgil - They succeed, because they think they can.

Richard Nelson Bolles - Not for nothing is their motto TGIF ‘Thank God It’s Friday.’ They live for the weekends when they can go do what they really want to do.